When You Feel Like You Don't Belong

 Sometimes we need to be reminded of our true identity. The Bible tells us that as Christians we are adopted into God's forever family.

“In love He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves." Ephesians 1:5

One September day, we got this text:

“We said yes!”

My son and daughter-in-law had been unable to have children of their own, and so they decided to adopt a child from the foster care system. After months of evaluations and classes, they finally got the call. A baby was available for adoption. Would they like to meet her?

Before the meeting, my son told his wife, “We don’t have to decide today. We can go home and talk about it.”

As it turns out, it was the child’s first birthday when my son and daughter-in-law met her. They sent a picture of a tiny girl with wide, questioning brown eyes and a brow furrowed with concern. Another picture showed her glancing sideways in suspicion, as if to say, “Who are these people and why am I here?” A third photo showed her snuggled comfortably in my son’s arms, asleep.

For the happy couple, it was love at first sight. They didn’t need to deliberate. They said “yes” to adoption, and in May the following year, this sweet little girl officially, legally became part of the family.

Though she shares no genetic material with her parents, she is their daughter, possessing the same rights and privileges as any biological child would have. Her parents’ commitment to love and care for their daughter does not hinge on her behavior. Her position is secure.

The beauty of adoption lies in the choice.

Ephesians says that we are God’s adopted children. In accordance with His will, He chose us.  It gave Him pleasure to adopt us. We are part of the family, and He freely gives us His love.

If we ever feel unloved, unwanted, inferior or insecure, consider this: God said “yes” to us. Yes, He loves us. Yes, He wants us. Yes, we are highly privileged because we belong to His forever family. And yes, He’s keeping us.

And that fearful little baby that captured the hearts of her adoptive parents? She is growing into a happy, confident girl who knows she’s loved.

We can be like that. Happy. Confident. Growing. Loved. Adopted as sons and daughters and recipients of His glorious grace.

When you feel like you don't belong, remember, you've been ADOPTED into God's forever family.

The Happiest Place on Earth

When my children were young, we made several trips to the “Happiest Place on Earth.” You know the place…mouse ears, castles, rides. I remember the twinge of excitement that would bubble up once we began seeing orange groves and billboards along the Highway. And when we entered the gates, it seemed magical…well, sort of magical, as long as you could disregard the throngs of people wearing shorts and taking pictures. It was a happy place…that is, until mid-afternoon when at least one of the kids became grouchy and had an “episode.” (Your family may call it a meltdown or tantrum.) We’d fix that problem and go along our merry way-- until it rained, or someone got sick, or the lines were too long, or we couldn’t agree on a plan of action.

Suddenly our delight evaporated.

It seems like people are always searching for something to “make us happy.” We crave the temporary euphoria we experience when our team wins the game. We search for that perfect job, home, relationship, or hobby.

 Earthly happiness dangles like a carrot in front of our nose. It’s elusive, fleeting, unsatisfying.

Yet the Bible says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

God wants to give us things to enjoy. He wants to place holy desires in our hearts and then fill those desires. We begin by delighting in Him.

Delight is a form of happiness that’s wide-eyed with wonder and bubbling with enthusiasm. The Hebrew word used in this verse is “anag,” and connotes something soft, delicate, and alluring.

But what does it look like to “delight in the Lord?”

Since David seemed to have a handle on delighting in the Lord, I’m going to look for some advice from David’s Psalm 16.  

David went about his day CONSCIOUS OF GOD’S PRESENCE. He talked to God all day long.

“I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” Ps. 16:2

He recognized that every good thing is his life was, one way or another, connected to God.

And his delight was multiplied when he joined with other believers. When he worshiped with his peeps, he was bursting with excitement. He was even known to dance for joy. (II Samuel 6:14)

“As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.” Ps. 16:3 NKJV

David was CONTENT WITH THE LIFE GOD GAVE HIM.

There’s nothing wrong with having ambitions and aspirations. But in our striving for “something better”, let’s not miss out on the good we already have. Delighting in the Lord means counting our blessings, and marveling at the goodness all around us.

“Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Ps. 16: 5-6 NKJV

David was CONFIDENT OF GOD’S CARE. 

“I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel; my heart also instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.” Ps. 16: 7-8 NKJV

A delighted attitude is a peace-filled mindset, free from worry and insecurity. David rested in the assurance that God would give him wisdom for every decision. David was an eager student, even if it meant going to “night school.” He learned his lessons in dark, uncertain circumstances. Because he trusted God, David confidently declared, “I shall not be moved.”

David was CONVINCED THAT GOD HAS GOOD PLANS FOR HIS FUTURE.

“Therefore, my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope.                                                                                                                        

For You will not leave my soul in Sheol, nor will You allow your Holy One to see corruption.

You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy;

 at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” V. 9-11 NKJV

Here is our hope: our troubles will not last forever. God will remove them all, if not in this world, then in the next. But in the meantime, He walks with us along the rough roads, and He’s a delightful companion.

 A delighted heart experiences a joyful present and expects a pleasant future.
  

A delighted heart refuses to become tangled in a net of negativity.

A delighted heart lives in the awareness of God’s presence, walks in contentment and confidence, and rests in fullness of joy.

And that, my friend, is the Happiest Place on Earth.

Stop, Drop, and Rejoice in Today

“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!” Philippians 4:4

I woke up and remembered why I hadn’t set my alarm: school was canceled because forecasters predicted snow. Teachers and students all over town did their happy dance. Snow in South Louisiana!

Had it really snowed?

To steal a line: Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutter and threw up the sash. (Well, not exactly.  We don’t have shutters. But you get the picture.)

Fat, wet, flakes were tumbling from the sky. I put on my jacket and went outside.

At first, a sprinkling of snowflakes in delicate, crystalline clumps fell on my sleeves and melted.

Soon the clouds were dumping snow like powdered sugar on the lawn, rooftops, mailbox, and tree branches.

I watched in awe as my neighborhood morphed into a Christmas card scene. This kind of snowy vignette usually exists only in the imaginations of southerners like me. I was afraid that if I blinked, the lovely whitewashed world would disappear.

When was the last time you rejoiced in the day---stopped multitasking, dropped unnecessary distractions, and relished it?   When was the last time you savored the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations of the moment? When was the last time you cherished today, a limited-time offer that’s expiring soon?

It doesn’t snow here often.  But every day is filled with little miracles that I miss because I’m often too busy performing useless tasks or complaining about the necessary ones.

I don’t always appreciate the hugs and smiles of my little students or take the time to laugh at the funny things they say. Instead, I allow myself to be overwhelmed by the responsibility of educating them and controlling their chaos. I don’t always fully appreciate the extraordinary people in my life because I’m so distracted.

How many times do we plow through daily routines without acknowledging God’s presence or thanking Him for a warm bed, a comfortable home, or friends and family? How many times do we hurry through meals without tasting the food because we're checking emails or for the next day? 

But God wants us to rejoice!

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” II Thessalonians 5:16

It’s time to stop, drop, and rejoice in the moments that make up our days, because every day is wonder-filled.   Every day should be a snow day. Or a singing-in-the-rain day. Or a Son-day.  Or Christmas Day. Or a falling-in-love day. Or a new-birth day. An exotic day. A vacation day. A snuggle day. A day for celebration. A day for taking notice and taking time. A fresh-start day.  A day for delighting, because God’s compassions are new every morning.

Kingdom Ventures

“Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid and went and hid your talent in the ground.  Look, there you have what is yours.”  Matthew 25:24-25

Play it safe or take a risk----what does God expect His followers to do? 

Do we use our small, imperfect abilities, or do we leave the kingdom work to those who are REALLY talented?

In Matthew 25:14-30 Jesus told a story about a company owner who was going on a business trip.  Before he left, the owner gave three employees a significant amount of capital to invest.  He gave his high-performer five talents -- an amount considerably more that a lifetime’s worth of wages.  The second rising star in the company got two talents.  The third man hadn’t yet proven his abilities, but the boss still gave him one talent. A regular worker would have to labor 16 1/2 years to earn that much money, so the third guy still had a tremendous opportunity.

When the boss returned, the first man had doubled the capital. He got more responsibility, and probably a promotion, a bonus, a raise, and a party.  He was invited to “enter the joy of his lord.” (v. 23) With shrewd investments and trading, the second man also doubled the amount he was given.  Kudos from the boss. Another promotion. Another party.

But the third man returned his talent. He’d dug a hole and buried the money in the backyard.  He hadn’t even put it in the bank where it could earn interest. 

 Maybe his reluctance is understandable. He might have been thinking,” What if I botch this up? What do I know about this investing stuff? Better to just make sure this one talent here is safe.”

But if we look closely, we’ll notice three things about the third employee, whom the boss calls “wicked and lazy.”

First, he didn’t love and trust his master.  He called his master a “hard man.”

Second, he wasn’t on board with the company mission.  He didn’t like the idea of “gathering where you have not scattered seed.”  Somehow, he didn’t go along with his master’s methods of reaping and gathering.

Third, he was afraid. His own self-preservation was more important than the boss’s agenda.

The underlying principle in this parable is that Jesus values faithfulness. Dr. Thomas Constable defines faithfulness as “using what God has entrusted to one to advance His interests in the world. It involves making a spiritual profit with the deposit God has entrusted to each disciple.”

God gives each of us talents, abilities, spiritual gifts and resources to invest for His kingdom. So, what keeps us from using our talents?

Do we, like the unfaithful servant, have a flawed image of Our Lord? Do we imagine Him as a harsh taskmaster who gives us a job then sits back to watch us fail?  Do we forget that He’ll give us the power to accomplish what He assigns?

Maybe deep down, we’re not on board with our mission to “make disciples of all men.” Maybe we’ve secretly bought into the world’s philosophy that it’s impolite—or offensive—to share our faith.

My problem is fear. I fear rejection and ridicule as I make tentative efforts to use my meager abilities. I suspect this is where many of you struggle, also.

I listen to the voice in my head that says, “You’re not good enough.” (I can guess whose voice that is.)

But what if that nagging, clamoring voice in my head is causing such a ruckus that I can’t hear the voice of the Master? What if Jesus is saying, “Hey, about those talents I gave you? What have you done with them? How are you using them for My kingdom?”

And what if, instead, I heeded the voice of God’s Word?

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” II Corinthians 12:9

It’s never too late to begin. I think of my own sweet “mother-in-love,” Carol Sawyer, who has been a mentor to me in my walk with the Lord. She began playing the cello at the age of 60. She’s in her 80’s now and still plays in orchestras and ensembles. Her cello’s deep, heart-stirring tones have resonated in churches and concert halls, weddings and nursing homes. She’s poured into the lives of other musicians. She’s invested her talents for God’s kingdom.

So now, I’m using my small ability to encourage you today: Don’t bury your gifts! God wants you to use them!

What gifts and abilities has God given you? Have you been making excuses instead of making investments in the kingdom? What can you do today to develop and use your gift?

If you can’t write a book, then write a letter.

If you can’t sing on stage, then sing for a child.

If you can’t plan an event for 100 guests, then invite one friend over.

It’s okay to start small. God will increase your opportunities as you prove your faithfulness in the small things.

 Maybe that involves stepping out of your comfort zone, but consider this:

If we refuse the risk, we’ll never reap the rewards.

We miss out on hearing, “Well done, thy good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your lord.”

Let’s dig up that rusty, buried talent and invest it in the kingdom, then trust God for the results.

Weeding Out Worry

Springtime in southern Louisiana can be glorious.  At the first sign of warm weather, pink azaleas burst out of hiding. White blossoms pop out of tree branches. Day lilies emerge, stretching their leaves upward after a winter’s nap. Unfortunately, the weeds emerge, too, and threaten to strangle the flowers.

And though I’m not a fan of yard work, I pull up the weeds; otherwise, my garden will be a tangled mess.

I remember another glorious season of new beginnings when I first learned to delight in the Lord. I was a freshman in college, a new Christian exploring the riches of Scripture for the first time. Verses seemed to burst off the page as if they were written just for me. My newfound faith grew as I witnessed God answering even my most trivial prayers.

But it didn’t take long for the weeds of worry to choke out my joy. My roommates were moving into their sorority houses. (How could they leave me?) My history professor didn’t think I deserved an A in his course. (Imagine that!) I received an unexpected summons to the office of the Dean of Women. (Never a good omen!) My heart became like the thorny soil in Jesus’ parable.

“The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.” Matthew 13:22

I forgot that the God of the Universe-- who spoke and splattered a gazillion stars across the universe—who put on a human body to save me—who keeps track of tiny details like the number of hairs on my head— is for me.

As a new Christian, I had to learn that when we worry, we’re not trusting God.

 “Be anxious for nothing,” the Bible says, “but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

I memorized Philippians 4:6-7 and decided I wouldn’t worry about anything anymore. And I didn’t…until the next problem came along.

Over the years, God’s shown me time and time again that He’s for me. But I still contend with weeds of worry.

The solution to the problem is the same now as it was then.

First, I’ve got to recognize worry when it first appears. I’ve got to capture every unsettling thought and examine it. If I’m dealing with a problem, I may wonder what the future holds. I may give that problem a great deal of thought as I work on a solution. But when nervousness, anxiety, and pessimism begin to creep in, it’s an indication that, instead of wondering and working on a solution, I’m worrying.

Then, I’ve got to go back to Philippians 4:6-7: praying about my problems, thanking God in advance for what He will do, then trusting Him for the solutions.

But the battle with worry doesn’t end with Philippians 4:6-7. Philippians 4:8 tells us that after we pray about our problems, we’ve got to stop thinking about what’s wrong, and dwell on what’s right.

Philippians 4:8 “Whatever things are true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

God has brought me through some scary situations.You’d think I’d have learned to rest in Him, but worry still creeps in, threatening to take root and preventing me from delighting in the Lord. 

Recently, I found myself fretting over travel arrangements for an upcoming conference. I had to remind myself that God had been a “very present help” in major crises in the past, and He can certainly handle today's little difficulties.

Maybe you’re like me, discouraged because you still fight the same old battle with worry. Remember that, like weeds, worries will continue to sprout up. There’s no permanent fix. The trick is to remove them as soon as we notice them.

Here are some “garden tools” I use when worries creep in:

S – Supplication (asking God for what I need)

P – Prayer (talking to Him about my troubles)

A – Appreciation (for what He’s done and what He’s going to do)

D -Dependence on Him (to take care of me today as He has done in the past)

E – Exchanging worry for worship (thinking about what’s right instead of what’s wrong)

What worries do you need to bring to the Lord?

How has God delivered you in the past?

What are the true and right and pure and lovely things you need to meditate on today?

 If we want to delight in the garden with the Lord, we’ve got to keep up with the yard work.

“Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7

Delightful

Delightful.  That’s how I would describe her.  Her eyes are wide with wonder as she observes a butterfly. She squeals with excitement as she chases bubbles or snowflakes or puppies. She gives spontaneous hugs and randomly breaks out in song.

When I watch her, I understand why Jesus said, to enter the kingdom of heaven, we must become like little children.  Children know how to take delight.

Lately, the Lord has been whispering a verse to me.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

Sometimes when we become adults, we lose our sense of delight and wonder. Problems and obligations throw a wet blanket on the flame of our desires. We give up on dreams we once held dear, or we find satisfaction in the wrong things. But the Bible tells us we’re supposed to delight in the Lord. It says He will give us our heart’s desires.

My Life Application Study Bible says “to delight in someone means to experience great pleasure and joy in his or her presence.  This happens only when we know that person well.  So, to delight in the Lord, we must know him better. Knowledge of God’s great love for us will indeed give us delight.”

I delight in the Lord when I’m aware of His Presence as I go through my day. I delight in the Lord when I set aside time to talk to Him and listen to Him speak to my heart in that still, small voice.

I delight in the Lord when I read and reread the love letters He’s given me in His Word.  If I linger long enough, I may be rewarded with one of those Ah-ha moments when the Scriptures seem to jump off the page and I gain a fresh insight. I find new reasons to praise. He puts a new song in my heart.

I delight in the Lord when I take time to appreciate Him. Little children take time to investigate the ordinary. But adults often take for granted the good gifts God bestows on us each day. We lose our sense of fascination with creation. As we delight in the Lord, we regain that sense of childlike wonder.  Every day can be a special occasion when we recognize the goodness of God in the messiness of life.

When we delight in the Lord, He gives us the desires of our heart.

This phrase can be observed from two angles. When we spend time with Him, God places the appropriate desires in our hearts. He gives us a passion for the work He’s called us to do.  He sets our hearts on fire with a desire to live out our purpose. 

And, He fulfills our desires, the pure desires He places in our hearts. Sometimes He does that in unexpected ways, but if we come to Him with expectant hearts, waiting and watching, the Bible tells us that He is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all we could ever hope or dream. (Ephesians 3:20)  

I can remember a time in my life when my heart was aching for something I desperately wanted. I pleaded with God. I cried. I fasted. Then, one day I realized that the thing I desired had become an idol. I’d elevated my heart’s desire above my relationship with God. When I finally yielded to His will and asked Him to do what was best, He gave me something better than I could have imagined.

What delights you?  Do you delight in God’s creation—the intricate details of a butterfly’s wing or the majesty of a mountain peak? Does the crashing of waves against a sandy beach fill you with praise for the One who created the shore and said to the ocean, “This far you may come, but no farther, and here your proud waves must stop!”? (Job 38:11) Or maybe you best sense His presence under a canopy of trees where all you hear are the crisp leaves skipping across the forest floor.

Do you find delight in knowing that no matter what kind of curve balls the world may pitch to you, God is always at your side, strengthening you, encouraging you, upholding you with His righteous right hand?(Isaiah 41:10) Does it delight you to know that you are loved with an everlasting love, and that no matter what tribulations you have in the world, He has overcome them all?

 Are there prayers that need answers, problems that need solving, passions that need fulfilling? The Bible tells us roll all of those over to Jesus and trust Him to give us what we need.

“Commit (literally, “roll”) your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

And He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:5

“Delighting” may look different for each of us. It may be an ongoing conversation that we have with Him as we go about our day. It may be a block of time in the morning, or at lunchtime, or in the evening that we set aside for just for Him. It may include a weekend away-- a Restore Retreat, for instance.

Let’s learn a lesson from little children and restore our sense of delight. We can find beauty and rejoicing in any season, at any age, when we’re living in close fellowship with God. When we delight in Him, He gives us what our hearts truly desire.

Delighting in Him,

Margaret

Here’s a -link to one of my favorite Twila Paris songs, “Delight My Heart.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgejOL1GxSs