I once saw a T shirt that read
“When Life Goes to Pieces Make a Quilt.”
I don’t consider myself an avid quilter, but there have been a couple of
occasions when my life has gone to pieces, and I have, in fact, made a quilt.
My first teaching job was in a
small, struggling private school. I began teaching elementary school in August;
by February the school was bankrupt and paychecks stopped coming. The school
closed its doors in April. April is not a good time for a classroom teacher to
find a new position, so I would have to wait until the beginning of the next
school year in August. For five months
there I was, a young wife alone in a one bedroom apartment for most of the day,
with no car and no spending money to speak of. But I did have a sewing machine
and lots of fabric scraps. So I made a quilt, which, by the way, I still use today.
It reminds me of a time when I learned to trust God to provide financially, and
in the meantime to be content with what I had. I learned to make the best of
the situation and to create something to show for all my time spent in limbo.
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what
you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Hebrews
13:5
“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned
the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me.” Philippians 4: 12-13
I didn’t quilt again until
recently when I once again found myself housebound and without employment. This time health issues necessitated that I
take a sabbatical from work. I had surgery during the summer, and I knew I
would grieve when the new school year started without me. There would be no
classroom to arrange, no bulletin boards to put up, no door to decorate with
the names of new little friends for me to teach.
I mentioned to my sister that I
might like to take up quilting again. That was all she needed to hear; my sweet
sister was not going to let me sit around feeling sorry for myself. The stitches from my surgery had not yet been
removed, but my sister insisted on driving me to a quilting shop so we could
select fabric. My new project gave me
something productive to do in the days following my surgery. And I officially
had the quilting bug.
I scoured crafting websites for
quilting ideas and came across a quilt kit that kept calling my name. This kit
contained materials and instructions to make a full size quilt called “Garden
Maze.” It was the COLORS that caught my
attention and reeled me in. On a stark background of black were deep jewel-tone
colors…brilliant sapphire blues, amethysts, and various shades of jade and
turquoise. The colors alone were stunning, but against the contrast of the
black background they were positively dazzling.
The quilt reminds me of something
I learned in this season of my life: Sometimes we don’t fully appreciate the
richness and the beauty that God has given us until we are in dark places. In
those places, we recognize the little miracles that we tend to take for granted,
and we see the big miracles He performs in bringing light out of darkness.
In my sickness, I learned to
appreciate the everyday blessings that I used to overlook. For example, during
my treatment I took medicine that made me nauseous and unable to eat. When I
did eat, food had a peculiar, unappetizing, metallic taste. I remember the first meal I enjoyed when that
awful medicine was out of my system. I could finally tolerate—no, savor!—the
pungent aroma of meat on the grill. I had a tender, juicy, sizzling steak
(sorry, vegetarian friends!) and a hot, cheesy baked potato dripping with
butter. I don’t remember anything ever tasting so good.
When I was able to drive a car once
again, I was so thankful for the freedom to be able to get behind the wheel, to
feel the warmth of the sunshine piercing through the windshield, to experience
the exhilaration of getting out into the real world. After being under a
sentence of “house arrest” for a few weeks, even going to the grocery seemed
like a privilege.
And when I was able to attend a
football game…wow! What a joy to participate in life once again! Though the
chilly night air pricked my sensitive skin, and my weakened leg muscles struggled
to carry me from the parking lot to the stadium, I was delighted to be among
all those noisy, normal, healthy people doing something…normal. The triumphant notes of the fight song,
delivered by the band with such pomp and ceremony…those became my fight song,
my victory song as I fought to regain the life I had taken for granted.
The real gems I discovered during
my illness were the relationships with precious friends and family
members. Their gestures of love were the
bright colors against the dark backdrop of my illness. I am so grateful for the
way each friend added a unique splash of beauty and color to my life.
During this dark time, God’s
faithfulness shone bright as He carried me through the difficult, painful days
and answered prayers for healing. I might be tempted to chalk that healing up
to the wonders of modern medicine…but then I’ll hear stories about people who
had the same disease as I had, but didn’t fare nearly as well. That’s when I
recall how many, many people were praying for me, and I know my healing is an
answer to prayer.
This Sabbatical in my life has
given me the gift of time…time that is free from normal responsibilities, time
to spend in prayer and Bible study, time to spend with God and get to know Him
as a compassionate heavenly Father who always does what’s right and who never
gives me more trouble than I can bear, but always gives mercy and grace to help
in time of need. His Presence brightened
my difficult days and uncomfortable nights. That has been the most beautiful
aspect of this past year.
“For you are a lamp, O Lord, and my God lightens my darkness.” II Samuel 22:29
When David was in a dark place,
pursued by Saul, God delivered him. David responded by writing a psalm of
praise that we read in II Samuel 22.
During his struggles David learned much about the character of God. He
came to know God as his Rock and his shield, a God who strengthened him and
gave him victory over his adversaries. When David would become distressed, he
would begin by crying out to the Lord, but then he would remember how God had
delivered him in the past, and his depression would give way to hope and
praise.
“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your
wonders of old. I will ponder all your
work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is
great like our God? Psalm 77:11-13
Sometimes life doesn’t go the way
we plan. Sometimes it seems like everything is going to pieces, and we find
ourselves in dark places. But God can take those ragged pieces and put them
together to create something more splendid than we can imagine. He can use the contrast
of the dark places to showcase the brilliant blessings He has for us.
It was often in times of
difficulty that the Old Testament patriarchs met with God. Abram was in an
uncertain place; he left his country and his people to travel to a land that
God would show him. God promised that
through Abram (or Abraham, as He was later known) all the people on earth would
be blessed. God promised Abram numerous
descendants, yet at the time the promise was made Abram had no offspring. But
several times along the way, God met Abram in his place of uncertainty. Abram
marked these places of revelation by building an altar.
My NIV Life Application study
Bible has this explanation of altars:
“Abram built an altar to the
Lord. Altars were used in many
religions, but for God’s people, altars were more than places of
sacrifice. For them, altars symbolized
communion with God and commemorated notable encounters with him. Built of rough
stones and earth, altars often remain in place for years as continual reminders
of God’s protection and promises. Abram regularly built altars to God for two
reasons: (1) for prayer and worship, and (2) as reminders of God’s promise to
bless him. Abram couldn’t survive
spiritually without regularly renewing his love and loyalty to God. Building altars helped Abram remember that
God was at the center of his life.”
My Garden Maze quilt is going to be
my “altar” to serve as a reminder of this period in my life where even in the
midst of difficulty, God’s dazzling love and mercy shone bright.
When you are in a dark place,
when your life is falling to pieces, turn to the One who is your Light and
Salvation, who can stitch those pieces together. Learn from him during the dark
times. Ask Him to illumine your darkness. Ask him to reveal more of Himself to
you. Look for the blessings, big and small, that will shine in those
times. Then build an altar to remember
what you’ve learned. Make a quilt. Write a song. Keep a journal. Keep a
souvenir of God’s faithfulness, so you can remember the God who has answered you
in your distress and who will never leave you nor forsake you.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord
is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the
land of the living!
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait
for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14
